Look at you

What do you wonder 

when you wander by the window, 

and stare out into a world 

you see in your own way? 

Always opting for outside. 

It's out there you prefer 

than the ever-seeming locked in 

feeling of indoors. 

Perhaps because we know 

containment isn't capable. 

Your boundless aspirations 

are too big to fit in this house. 

Your potential too large to even fit outside. 

That's why it calls for you and you answer every time. 

The moment a door opens, you step through it. 

The moment the blinds separate, you're looking out. 

And we'll be here standing in the doorway, 

keeping an eye from a distance 

on our girl who belongs anywhere she goes.

To my little loves

To my little loves, 

I wish you knew 

all that you are powering through.

The world around us is something new,

and I wish I could help you understand

why suddenly there are things we can't do.

Your mama and papa are trying their best 

to put some smiles on you nevertheless, 

by finding fun in even the smallest of things.

Right now, little loves, 

it's just safer when we're together. 

And the time we spend is made special

by the bond we share forever.

I know that soon enough, 

we'll be able to see those trains again 

and run around museums 

or even Disneyland. 

But until then, 

I know it's hard to do the same thing everyday. 

But trust me, my little loves, 

we're beyond thankful that we're here with you to play.

One

I think about the last words of the vows 

you read a year ago today. 

"And to always hold your hand when facing any challenges 

and know that they will never carry us apart." 

You said those words unknowing

of what lied just months ahead, 

but it didn't matter. 

In a year of challenges, 

you kept your promise, 

and you didn't just hold my hand. 

You held up my head, 

my mind, my heart,

my spirit, my soul.

You held me up,

you held us up,

through challenge after challenge.

But please don't mistake my appreciation of you for surprise.

I only know you to keep your promises.

Your loyal love has always been the calm water 

on which we float upon.

And nearly 9 years later,

and one year later,

I never worry we'll drift.

Because even after the daily dance of chaotic life,

I still can't get enough of you.

I still miss you when we're inches apart.

I still love learning what's inside your heart.

I still crave you and the way you show your love. 

You're still the only one I see in the room.

I knew when we got married nothing would change.

A testament to us.

I knew you'd still love me the same.

And I loved you then like I love you now,

hopelessly, incessantly, endlessly.

Perhaps it's fitting we never had an actual honeymoon. 

You make our life feel like one.

In disbelief

And so today, as it was that day, 

I hold you in disbelief. 

I'm in awe of all you, 

the small and the mighty. 

That smile and your eyes. 

 

Your nervous laughter, 

powered cries, 

I adore the vulnerable sides you share. 

 

But not as much as I love the trouble in the air,

whenever you decide to do 

whatever it is you want to do.

Making sure you get it done, 

there's no stopping you. 

That crooked smile leaves me weak, 

I spin you upside down. 

Those rainbow eyes turn into smiles I can't help but admire. 

So on this day, as it was that day, 

I hold you in disbelief. 

 

You're a force, my little love, a force. 

And I hope you never forget.

Privilege

I don’t think I’ve ever felt
entitled to all the cards I’m dealt.
Whatever my particular circumstance
is more often than not left up to chance.

Yet here I am,
the victim and the beneficiary,
and somewhere in between
lies the truth of my entire being.

One who can be pushed down
before I even try to get up,
and still one who can do all too little
to grab ahold of all I want.

A state of success,
too often I’m told,
earned on merit alone,
but hearing that gets old.

Sure, I do all I can
to build on what the man has given me.
But I’d be lying if I said
I earn more because of this nation
than I do from a particular situation.

Now, that is not a self-critique.
I simply aim to speak
about how we don’t choose
the lives we’re born into.
And that hard work alone does not atone
for luck or lack there of.

Opportunities handed out
because I look or talk a certain way.
Someone else, better qualified,
may never see that light of day.

So I never take for granted all that I’ve been granted. For, I try my best on my ladder to the sky. But I must lift those whose step up didn’t start quite so high.