One

I think about the last words of the vows 

you read a year ago today. 

"And to always hold your hand when facing any challenges 

and know that they will never carry us apart." 

You said those words unknowing

of what lied just months ahead, 

but it didn't matter. 

In a year of challenges, 

you kept your promise, 

and you didn't just hold my hand. 

You held up my head, 

my mind, my heart,

my spirit, my soul.

You held me up,

you held us up,

through challenge after challenge.

But please don't mistake my appreciation of you for surprise.

I only know you to keep your promises.

Your loyal love has always been the calm water 

on which we float upon.

And nearly 9 years later,

and one year later,

I never worry we'll drift.

Because even after the daily dance of chaotic life,

I still can't get enough of you.

I still miss you when we're inches apart.

I still love learning what's inside your heart.

I still crave you and the way you show your love. 

You're still the only one I see in the room.

I knew when we got married nothing would change.

A testament to us.

I knew you'd still love me the same.

And I loved you then like I love you now,

hopelessly, incessantly, endlessly.

Perhaps it's fitting we never had an actual honeymoon. 

You make our life feel like one.

In disbelief

And so today, as it was that day, 

I hold you in disbelief. 

I'm in awe of all you, 

the small and the mighty. 

That smile and your eyes. 

 

Your nervous laughter, 

powered cries, 

I adore the vulnerable sides you share. 

 

But not as much as I love the trouble in the air,

whenever you decide to do 

whatever it is you want to do.

Making sure you get it done, 

there's no stopping you. 

That crooked smile leaves me weak, 

I spin you upside down. 

Those rainbow eyes turn into smiles I can't help but admire. 

So on this day, as it was that day, 

I hold you in disbelief. 

 

You're a force, my little love, a force. 

And I hope you never forget.

Privilege

I don’t think I’ve ever felt
entitled to all the cards I’m dealt.
Whatever my particular circumstance
is more often than not left up to chance.

Yet here I am,
the victim and the beneficiary,
and somewhere in between
lies the truth of my entire being.

One who can be pushed down
before I even try to get up,
and still one who can do all too little
to grab ahold of all I want.

A state of success,
too often I’m told,
earned on merit alone,
but hearing that gets old.

Sure, I do all I can
to build on what the man has given me.
But I’d be lying if I said
I earn more because of this nation
than I do from a particular situation.

Now, that is not a self-critique.
I simply aim to speak
about how we don’t choose
the lives we’re born into.
And that hard work alone does not atone
for luck or lack there of.

Opportunities handed out
because I look or talk a certain way.
Someone else, better qualified,
may never see that light of day.

So I never take for granted all that I’ve been granted. For, I try my best on my ladder to the sky. But I must lift those whose step up didn’t start quite so high.

It holds me

Your love surrounds me.
Even the parts that go in circles.
The holes where pieces are missing.
The cracked parts that can sting you.

You never judge why things are broken,
you only try to heal.
Any beauty you find in my flickering light
is a small reflection of the beauty I find in you.

Your love envelops me,
like a never ending hug.

It holds me to remind me I’m seen.
It holds me in the only way I need.
A love we hold dear,
in our hands and in their eyes.

These are the things you never see

A pretty picture of two kids glee
took one hundred tries as they kicked and screamed.
A meal made fresh loses its steam,
as you tend to everything else before you can eat.

A restful moment loses its wings
as the cries let you know they’re no longer asleep.
These are the things you never see
because she handles it all so gracefully.

Not a moment to spare without a want or need.
Not a moment to stop, close your eyes and breathe.
These are the things you never see
because she handles it all so gracefully.

I just want it

Only when you lay still
can I admire you up close.
See how peaceful you are
when your eyes are shut closed.

I breathe you in for just a moment
as you breathe in my pillowcase.
Never do I feel more comfort
than when I know you're sleeping safe.

Ari boy, we spend our days
watching you, chasing you, feeding you yogurts,
talking, laughing, arguing,
hugging, crying, learning, searching for patas.

You live life like it's a race
and you're always trying to win.
We're just trying to keep up,
while rooting from the stands.

And buggy, I wouldn't change a thing.
You're exactly who you're meant to be
and we adore every piece.
And I love the all the laughs
And sometimes all the tears.

And perhaps my favorite is when you emerge from sleep,
observant, talkative, detailed.
Ready to play and run some more.
It's something that never fails.

Feel It

This is one of those times
no words can match my mind
when I think of how grateful I am of you.

To know you,
to be around you,
to feel you,
to love you.

Rainbows

To the little girl with the rainbow eyes,
oh, how I’ve been waiting to know you.

I look at you and think,
what a gift you are.
And every morning
I unwrap the smile you saved for me.

Soft and telling,
I’m watching a sunrise
wipe away a dark sky
whenever I stare in awe of you.

I never thought such a little person
could say so much without a single word.
Because every time I look, I see your stare find mine.
The love I feel I find in your eyes.

For all the love

For all the love I’ll ever need
you gave to me.
With few words and a look,
we’re eight years into a lifetime.
A long hallway promise that’s always been kept.

A long road we continue to pave,
drawing the map as we go.
Through cities new and familiar.
To realize I’m always home
as long as you’re there.

And even “we” means something new.
To love how it was
and to love knowing it’ll never be the same.
For we saw once they came
just how love can grow.

It multiplies with the smiles and the cries.
The subtle moments.
How you can be an entire world for someone
who’s your entire universe.
Not unlike how you’re mine, then and now and tomorrow.

How lucky I am to stay in your orbit.
For all the love I’ll ever need
you give to me.
With few words and a look.
Eight years into a lifetime.
A long hallway promise that’s always been kept.

Sometimes

Sometimes I wonder where it comes from.
Sometimes I tell myself I'm fine.
Sometimes I wonder where it goes when it's gone.
Sometimes, in my mind.